Thanksgiving Failure

Disclaimer: These characters belong to their rightful creators. I lay no claim on any of them. Just for the record.056

Iron Man watched Black Widow and Captain America slave over the turkey. He shook his head. “You know, you both are going through way too much fuss and bother. We should just go out and get Shwarma.”

Captain America scowled at him. “We had Shwarma last Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah? And it was awesome.”

Black Widow gave Captain three bags of gizzards. Why one turkey had three bags of gizzards inside of it was anyone’s guess.

Captain carried the clammy bags to the garbage can.

Black Widow ran cold water inside the turkey’s cavity. “If you throw those out, I will kill you.”

Captain looked at the bags and then at Iron Man, who shrugged.

“She likes next day gizzard shakes. It’s a cultural thing I just don’t get. I get Shwarma, though. Shwarma’s awesome.”

She turned sharply to face Iron Man. “I swear if you mention Shwarma one more time—” The turkey slipped out of her grasp and landed hard on the stone floor.

“Well. I don’t know about anyone else, but nope. I am not eating that.”

Black Widow grabbed the turkey by its pink rubbery legs and hauled it back to the sink.

“You are gonna soap that thing up, right?”

Captain gave Iron Man a beseeching look. “But what am I supposed to do with these bagged things?”

“Throw them out. Get Shwarma.”

“That does it!” Running on pure impulse power, Black Widow grabbed the turkey and flung it at Iron Man’s head. Just as Bruce Banner entered the room. “Hey, guys!”

Iron Man ducked.

The turkey slammed into Bruce’s face. “Urgh. Urrrrgh! URRRRAAAAHH!” He Hulked out, grabbed the turkey, and slammed it repeatedly into the wall.

Captain America and Iron Man watched in awestruck wonder.

By the time Black Widow rescued it, the turkey was very well tenderized. The legs just tumbled right off the body and wound up on the floor. The body looked like it had been pulled out of a car wreck.

The Hulk turned back into Bruce. He stared at the pulverized turkey. “Oh, no! What have I done?” He ran out of the kitchen in a state of deep distress.

Captain sighed. “I’ll go calm him down.” He wandered off with the three bags of gizzards still in his hands.

Iron Man folded his arms across his chest. “You know, I really hope you aren’t gonna cook that thing.”

Black Widow stuck her lips out in an irritated pout.

He shrugged. “I mean, you could try, but it will probably cook up into some unholy crispy mash. Yuck.”

“I really wanted to make a turkey this year.”

“There’s always next year.” He pumped his fist. “Let’s get us some Shwarma!”


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