A Squabble Between Thieves

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“Look. Jim. I’m just sayin’ we have this whole big bundle of loot and we’re just sitting here in this dinky cabin like we’re waiting to get caught.”

“Well. Don’t blame me, Pete.”

“Huh? Who else am I gonna blame? Huh? Who? It was your idea to come here.”

“Oh, and your idea of hiding out in Nebraska was all that hot?”

“Hey! Don’t hate Nebraska. I’ve had a lot of good times there.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“What I mean is Nebraska is da bomb. Anyway, it would be a whole lot better than being stuck in this 2 x 2 cabin with you.”

“You think I wanna share this cabin with you?” Pete stuck his face into Jim’s face. “HA!”

“Eeeugh! You packed a toothbrush. Why don’t you ever use it?”

“Oh. So now you’re gonna nitpick on my hygiene. Is that it?”

“Yeah. I’m ‘gonna nitpick’ on your hygiene. You’re not hygienic.”

“Oh, and you’re just made out of soap petals, aren’t you?”

“At least, I don’t stink like a two year old dirty diaper.”

“That was low, Jim. Too low.”

“If you want, I could aim a little lower.”

“You do and I’ll kill ya. Heck. I might just kill you anyway. Then, I’d have all of the money to myself.”

“And you’d still stay in this cabin. Boring. Stupid. Plain. Ugly. Dull. COMPLETE MORON!”

“Complete moron? COMPLETE moron? That does it. That insult has broken my back.” Pete pulled out his gun.

“Threaten me, will ya?” Jim pulled out his gun. “There’s only one way for this to end.”

“Yeah, with you dead and me with all of the money.”

“Stupid. No. With you and me whoopin’ it up in good old Nebraska.”

“But I don’t want to go to Nebraska!”

“Fine. Then, give me my share and I’LL go to Nebraska.”

“Fine! The money bag is in the abandoned fridge in the old coal mine. Take your share and split.”

“Sounds fair to me. Just so you know: If you shoot me when I turn my back, I’ll turn into the ugliest ghost you ever did see and I will haunt you. I will haunt you so much you’ll develop blisters on your ugly old mug.”

“Beat it or I’ll shoot.”

“Fine. I’m leaving.”

“Fine!”

***

Jerry the Super Ranger ducked below the window and considered his options. He could fly to the old coal mine, grab the stolen money, and return it to the authorities. That would be the honorable and expected thing to do.

Or he could fly to the old coal mine, grab the stolen money, and go whoop it up in the Aleutian Islands.

Well. he figured. I need to get over to the mine. He smiled. Then, we’ll see what happens.

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