A Genie’s Complaint

I died today. Got run over by a Burger King bus. How does that happen? I mean, since when does Burger King have buses?

But I’m getting off topic. Sorry.

So, I died today. Big tragedy. Ruined my day. And guess what? I came back as a genie. I don’t know how I missed the whole turning into a ghost event, but I apparently did.

Is it reincarnation?

Is it evil, evil karma?

Well, whatever it is, I want to kick its sorry bottom. You can’t even imagine how many people I’ve bumped into today who’ve rubbed my lamp and asked for three wishes.

Now, I will admit. Being able to grant wishes could be a totally awesome, fun filled thing. If it’s done right.

No one in this one long day has done it right.

They keep asking for stupid things like golden eggs, endless supplies of Reeses’ cake bars (whatever that is), endless wishes (I can’t even grant that one. It goes against the whole genie business code. So, I don’t even know why everyone keeps asking me for it. Huh. This is a very long parenthetical thought. I’d better end it now while I still can before it takes over the rest of this story.)  There.

So, yeah. Stupid, stupid stuff wishes. I even had one person ask me to create a zombie apocalypse just so Andrew Lincoln could save them. There are no real words for that level of dumb stupidity.

Gah! Stuff a burrito and throw it into the ocean! Someone else just bumped into me. Oh! And there they go. Touching my lamp.

Oh, great. They’re rubbing it.

*sigh* Looks like I’m off to grant their lame wishes.

I really should avoid the subway from now on.

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