Hi! I’m Peter Parker, just your average friendly web-slinger…err, I mean, friendly friend next door. Yap. That’s me. Friendly Freddie. Not a superhero. Nope.
But anyway! The Avengers…err, I mean the really cool kids (not kids. They’re all older than me. Please ignore this side comment. I’m just babbling.). Yah, the really cool kids invited me to their holiday get together. They’re doing all of the heavy baking/cooking stuff. Tony Stark is bringing a shwarma turkey. I have no idea what that means. But he kept insisting on it and insisting on it. Until Bruce Banner told him he could.
Bruce is a really chill guy. I like him a lot. I’ve never seen him get angry about anything. So chill!
Tony…Well. Tony’s Tony. I won’t say that I don’t like him. I like everyone! But Tony has a…uhhhh, challenging personality. That’s what I’m calling it. Challenging! Yes!
Ohh, let’s see. Who else is going to be there? Umm, Natasha’s coming. Yeah. Natasha. She’s nice. And pretty. And hot. And I hope Mary Jane doesn’t see this. Mary Jane, if you see this, just know that you are the bestest! Mean it so much! Love love love!
Captain America’s gonna be there too. I know he has a real name, but come on! He’s Captain America! If that were my superhero name (not that I am a superhero. I’m not. Noooope. Not. Yeah.), I would never use my real name. Not ever again. If I got married, my wife would be Mrs. Mary Jane Captain America. And that would be awesome!
Thor. I’m not going to say anything about him. We don’t get along too good. He keeps trying to smack me with a newspaper while shouting, “Icky icky bug must die!” So, yeah. Not discussing him. At all. The less I say about him the better.
On the bright side, Thor’s bringing his girlfriend. She is sooooo pretty. And gorgeous. And hot. …… But, you know, Mary Jane is the hottest. Love you, baby! *insert fairy heart emoji*
Uhhh….Who else? Who am I missing? Oh. Thor’s kid brother. Loki. Loki isn’t too bad. I don’t know why he’s hanging around the Avengers….Errr. I mean the cool kids when he is definitely not part of their gang. But he isn’t too bad. I don’t know why Thor keeps picking on him. But, you know, Thor and I are not on each other’s BFF list. So, *shrug*
Oh and some guy named Hawkeye’s gonna come too. I think he’s coming with Natasha of the extreme hotness….Err. I mean, he’s coming with Natasha. Who’s nice and nice looking and…Love you, Nata….Err. I mean, Mary Jane, love you lots! LOL! (That means Lots Of Love.)
So, they asked me to bring a pumpkin pie. Sure! I said. I can buy a real nice pumpkin pie at the local Walmart store.
Well. Thor, being Thor, told me that I have to make it. From scratch.
Hahahahhahahahahaaaa…..ahhh, shoot. Maybe I can get Aunt May to help me.
Excuse me while I make a quick phone call.
“Hey, MJ! It’s me, Pete. Ummm, do you know how to make a pumpkin pie? You do? Could you help me make one? Really? MJ, you’re the bestest.”