Hand Over The Girl!

“How many times do I have to say it?”

“I don’t know. Wait. How many times have you said it so far?”

“Oh, you think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

“I don’t know anyone who’d say no to a question like that.”

Gun click.

“Aw, man. Now, you’re pulling a gun on me. See? That’s not fair. I’m going to discredit you.”

“You’re going to what? Never mind. Hand over the girl.”

“Yes! I got you to say it one more time! Huzzah!”

Gun shot.

Broken lamp.

“Umm, was that lamp supposed to symbolize my head or are you really that bad at what you do? Hey! I know. Give me the gun and we’ll all feel so much safer.”

Gun shot.

Killed picture.

“Well. That’s better. At least, you’re aiming straight now.”

“Hand over the girl! Or next shot will be your head!”

“Not going to happen. You’re too bad a shot. Besides, you shoot me, I’ll gasp and wheeze and oops! Drop the girl. You wouldn’t want me to do that now, would ya? She’s a delicate bit of glass. I drop her, she might lose an arm or a leg. Or horrors! She’ll lose her head. It’ll be hard to sell the girl in the black market without her head.”

“You are scum.”

“Am not. Besides, you’re the one with the gun pointed at defenseless me. I’d say you’re the scum. Why don’t you go into the bathroom and take a shower? Get rid of some of that extra scumminess?”

Gun shot.

Matching picture dead.

“You know, you’re gonna run out of bullets soon.”

“Hand over the girl!”

“But I went through so much trouble to get her.”

“If you don’t give it to me, I will blow your—”

“Okay! Catch!”


Dropped gun.

Dropped the girl.

The girl shattered into a million pieces of crystal.

But I got away.

Because I’m just too cool.

Huzzah, me!




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