I didn’t think packing up his office would be this difficult. After all, what is an office? Papers and binders and business things.
He was more than all of that.
But as I sit on his office’s hardwood floor and sort through papers and things, I realize that this is something final. This is the last shovel of dirt dropped on his grave.
He will never come back to this office.
He will never sit in his back supporting chair.
He will never meet with his clients.
He will never do so many things.
He will never be here.
He will never be with me.
I will never be able to call him at work and…and hear his voice.
I will never…
And he will never…
I need to stop thinking like this.
I have to box up his things.
I need to remember that they are just things. They are not him. They are not the whole of his life.
I am not boxing him up…but it feels like I am.
I didn’t realize that this would be so hard.
But it is.