Author’s Note:  I was reading a post on rarasaur’s blog and this line leapt out at me and begged to be transformed into a story:

“It’s like a Captain’s Log from a really bad space saga, where the Captain is leaning back in her big chair, knocking the rocks of her whisky, talking about everything except what actually happened.”

How could I resist?   😀  Anyway!  Here we go…


“Captain’s Log. Stardate 24601. Captain Elinsa Mellpell speaking.”

She sat back in her chair and contemplated the whiskey carafe. “I would love to have a drink, but I’m supposed to be as sober as a crashing asteroid when I’m doing these log things.”

She grabbed the carafe and quickly poured the lovely, golden fluid into her glass. “Well. If they want me to be sober, they shouldn’t leave things like this standing around. Mm-hmm. Of course, this is my quarters. This is my quarters. These are my quarters.” She took a sip and winced at the sharp sting. “Gah! As I was saying, quarters are this? Can quarters be singular?”

Another sip. “Whoo! This is my quarter. Yeah. That sounds good. This is my quarter! Woo! Great stuff. Mm! Uhh. Stuff happened today, but I don’t want to go into details. If anyone needs details about what went down with the Zenzagari ship and that shipment of explosives and that…that tire iron….uhhh, where am I going with this thought? Well, ask my First Officer about it. She’s good at remember all the bad things. Such a pessimistic little….Mmm.”

Another sip.

“Mmm.” She smiled. “mm-hm. hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. I love my First Officer. She’s the…bestest. She should be higher than Number One. She should be Number….Zero! Mmm. Love that girl. Umm. This log is running a little long today. I hope no one minds. I’m just so happy and shiny and glossy and mmm.”

Another sip.

“Yep. I think that’s all I need to say for today. I need to get me a nap. Yup.”


(h)ummus is the only perk